To God - July 5, 2007

Dear God-

I don't even feel worthy to talk to you right now, but I know that you are the only one that can help me. I ask, no I beg, for forgiveness. I don't even have to tell you what I have done, you already know. I wish I had some great reason to explain why I did it, but I don't. But God, I am so sorry. I totally understand how David felt after he had an affair with Bathsheba. I want to hide my face from you as I have been, but I have chose to fess up, because without you I am nothing. I feel so empty without you.

I can't believe Youth Camp is coming up. I really just don't feel like going because I know that I am going to feel guilty the whole time. God, please help me to forgive myself and get back on the straight and narrow path.

I still can't believe I did it. It wasn't me. I got caught up in the moment. I really love my friends third only to you and my family and I would do anything for them, but the most important thing I should be doing for them I always don't do. I fail on a daily basis to discuss the importance of you and what you have done for them.

I guess I thought that by hanging out with them they would see you through me, but what happened is they became more of an influence on me than I was on them. God, they really are great people and have done so so much for me. They have been there when few have. But, God more than anything I want to spend eternity with them and I know that there is only one way that will happen. The one and only way is if they come to know you as your personal savior.

I know I am the last person that should be asking for a favor, but here goes. God I just pray that you somehow, someway begin to draw them to you. I know it is their decision and I will always love them either way, but God I want them to know you as I have - to stand in your mighty, holy presence and to feel you wrap your arms around them. I want them to know the benefits of serving you.

God please give me strength to get back to you. I love you and you will always be worthy of my praise and again I am so sorry for what I have done.